Being a mom to twins has its ups and downs: the drama, the fun, the trouble. I guess it’s twice as hard.
There was a phase when they knew nothing about giving one another a chance at anything. They would look at me and gesture to be lifted, especially when I arrived at home. And then there is the challenge of synchronising their sleep patterns because mommy needs to rest when they sleep. At times they would literally refuse to sleep at the same time and that would be the longest, hardest day. I know this is not father’s day, but I just have to appreciate hubby for being a present, full time, hands on dad to his boys, because without him I swear I would have checked myself into a mental hospital a couple of times.
The most memorable incident in this twin mommy journey is the bath time incident of May 4 2019. It was my very first weekend alone with them. They were 14 months old. I was so afraid and had to work on my state of mind days before the weekend. I pre-cooked all the meals except breakfast. Put aside their outfits for the weekend accordingly. I needed a lot of assurance from daddy and the nanny that I would be fine. I knew I had to keep my emotions in check. From previous experience every time I was apprehensive they became fussy and restless. I could tell they did pick the vibes and responded accordingly. This I learnt from as early as they were a few weeks old, on the few occasions when I was alone with them albeit very briefly. Back to the incident… On Saturday we had a very relaxed day. In the evening, starting with Mr engineer, I bathed and dressed him and directed him to the TV as I discarded his water to continue with Sushi. Fast forward to dressing Sushi and Nacho is nicely seated in the bath, all dressed. Not only that, wasted nappy. I don’t know where I got the courage to laugh and take pictures. He grabbed the mop and looked at me and it melted my heart. The cutest innocent face in the world! I still smile at the pictures.
Anything that exists in twos belongs to them: from cushions, to cups, to chairs. This reality set in when I bought a two sitter outdoor set in a bid to create an intimate setting for me and hubby because we hardly have time for just the two of us since the arrival of the twins. I made tea one afternoon to commission the furniture. I came out of the house to find Sushi nicely seated on the one chair and he was quick to tell me “se ke sa ga Nacho” (which translates to: “this one belongs to Nacho”). It took a lot of convincing and negotiating before he could make way for us and sit on his chair.
They are one another’s keeper. When you mention to one that we are going on our routine walk, his first reaction is screaming to announce to the other one “we are leaving, hurry up”. While this is a welcome idea you won’t believe the drama it can cause at meal times. Sushi is a foodie. He is always the one to tell when they are due for their meals (including snacks). He loves the kitchen. So as you would expect, when we leave the kitchen with their food he will shout “Nacho re a ja”. And Nacho being the anti-food, lone wolf, Mr engineer will be busy manipulating stuff and wanting nothing to do with food. When he gets annoyed at the pestering from Sushi he can throw whatever he was handling at him. And that would be the beginning of a fight…Imagine the innocent invitation to a meal leading to a battle. And while at it let me make this warning! You can’t give the last bit of anything nice to any of them even when the other is out of sight, because they will be announcing and calling out the twin brother.
Children force us to pause, engage in the present moment and just take things easy. When I put the minions to sleep during the day, I take a nap. I put aside anything I was doing because I can always come back to that, but I can’t relive lost time with them: the cuddles, kisses and endless chats. I listen to them during our walks and actively engage in conversation. I ask questions and respond to theirs. This has given me the opportunity to notice their milestones as I realise how they analyse things along the way. Little things like being able to remember the names of neighbours according to their cars and houses. Managing them on the way can be a head ache, but I take joy in the chance to teach them safety and I am happy they got the lessons especially to obvious danger like on-coming vehicles.
They are less fussy about matching outfits now. They can also ask the other to step aside so mommy can put one on the lap. I don’t know if this makes things easier or I have accepted the double shift modus operandi. What I know for sure is that moms need a lot of breaks to keep their sanity. Twin moms need twice the time other moms take. This Mother’s Day I am taking this break.
I am interested to hear your experiences twin moms!
Happy Mother’s Day